We've all done it a million times. Said the words "thank you" when we certainly don't mean it. A mother-in-law gives you potholders for Christmas and you say through gritted teeth "Thank You" while inside you wonder why her real daughter got amazing things while you got friggin potholders. Or when you were young and Great Aunt Mabel bought you a ridiculously hidious frilly birthday outfit that mom made you wear at some family outing Mabel would also attend and you would have to go up and say "thank you for the pretty dress" meanwhile wishing you were wearing anything else and dying of embarassment over the ugliness of it. Or, my favorite is the time at my bridal shower when a slightly crazy older lady gave me a piece of lingerie that was as big as a house. It literally was a plus size 3x - I weighed 122 at the time - yep...what do you say to that one? My reply was "oh thanks! My husband to be will just love this!" while trying not to make eye contact with any of my friends so that I wouldn't bust out laughing.
We all have these stories and have said and done it more times than can be counted. Said "thank you" and not meant it at all. Not even the slightest bit.
It's easy to say "thank you" when you don't have to mean it. It's life, it's human, it just rolls off the tongue...and best of all, no one will ever know your thoughts. They won't know you're full ot if, but will just take the words at face value. So, my question today, is how do you say "thank you" for something awful and truly mean it? What if the person you need to say thank you to is God - who knows your heart and your true thoughts and cannot be faked out? What if you've just come to the realization that you are supposed to thank God for a situation that seems unthankable? As part of a reading for a group I'm in, I was hit in the face with this yesterday. I'm supposed to give thanks to God for everything - EVERYTHING. Um....yeah...how do you do this and mean it?
So today I started my road to being truly thankful for the bad things that have happened to me over the past 18 months. I spent some time with God and told him "thank You". Thank you for my 1st miscarriage. Thank You for my 2nd miscarriage. And last but not least, thank You for my 3rd. Do I mean it yet? Nope. Not at all. But I know I'm doing the right thing by saying it, and surrendering to knowing that I'm supposed to give thanks in every situation, because God is there during both the good and the bad. I will keep saying "Thank You" in crying prayers to God and I truly believe that eventually I will mean it. I don't know how long it will take, but it will happen. And...it will help heal. Cause any time I am faithful to do what I know God wants of me, He is faithful right back to me.
So...if you have any advice on how to be thankful for something that seems unworthy of it, please do tell. And....what are those horrendous gifts you've been given that you've faked your way through the thanksgiving?
8 comments:
Why didn't I know we had an aunt mabel? :-) And apparently I've been rolled so if others want to, I suppose they can to (if they see this)-
How's the burg?
You can put me back on your blog roll- I miss it there:-)
First off, you made me cry. Secondly, I've found that I have attempted to say thank you's to God without meaning them and it quite honestly sucks BUT when you're on the other side of the suckiness, you do start to mean it. Or I did anyway. And as crappy as I feel about the fact that I had to get to the other side in order to mean it, I did eventually get to that place and I figure that's a start. Maybe the next time I'm saying thank you's I don't want to say I'll mean them a little more and a little more. (...if all that makes any sense.) Thirdly (is that even a word?), I love you and I want with all my heart for you to have real, honest thank you's for Him super duper soon if 'ya know what I mean :-)
Just wanted to say, I did find your blog. I won't blogroll unless you say yes. Thoughts on being thankful. Let me try: Thank you God for my husband's porn addiction. Not very easy to say, yikes!
The only thing about being thankful for it, is I think it made me get closer to God. Although I've gone through some angry at God spells at certain points.
As far as presents, someone gave me an ugly bed in a bag set at a bridal shower.They knew I was registered for something different, but thought this one would be perfect!! I tried to return it but I couldn't and my mother in law finally asked the woman for the receipt. The woman took it back herself and gave us a knife set. Nice knife set, but was she trying to say something with the knives? I feel bad still that we weren't very gracious about that gift, but I don't know why she was forcing her taste on us either.
Well I was hit but what you said at group about giving thanks for the yuck. I have found that sometimes it is the action of faith that means more than my thoughts. God knows my heart and also knows my pain. If I act then he will honor that. He will meet me in the middle.
As for thanking people I smile really big and say THANK YOU!!! I know that for the most part they are giving from their heart and it meant the world to them. When my little kids give me CRAP I laugh and usually hold onto the worst because it was given with the biggest heart.
Worst gift: I got a bride pot holder. WHAT THE HECK! I also got a rabbit neck warmer. LOVELY! Ugly gifts from kids: candles that stink, big ugly jewelry, Peach sweaters... We will see what I get tomorrow.
LOVE YOU!!!!
Oh, I'd forgotten about gifts from students! Ah! I think the worst one I've gotten (other than some frightening food) was a giant (I'm talking larger than a basketball) waxy cylindrical rock-type thing that was apparently from Paraguay.
Thankfulness is a creature of habit. Fake it till ya make it. I am now thankful for some very traumatic moments in life, like my mom having cancer. It was hard and it sucked the life out of her, but maybe she wasn't really living before anyways - you know? Life seemed sweeter when I knew that it was finite. I was just talking to mom about her miscarriage yesterday, which she still commemorates every year, and she said that it feels like another life to her now. Like that was another woman, and she was just a witness to the tragedy. I will pray that one day you really are thankful for your miscarriages, though I would understand if you had to fake it forever....
hmmm...thank you for my cancer. took a while to get there, but i did because i was reminded how good my life is. my life is better at 40 than it was at 30, cancer included.
as for crappy gifts, there's the christmas my own mother gave my hubby an BEAUTIFUL leather jacket & i got sheets. crappy 200 thread count sheets. or the year my mom gave my barbie camper away to a kid whose birthday was a few days before mine, and i got the cheap knock off instead. not that i'm still bitter... okay, this is where i say thank you, right?
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